Dream Logic

Gotta love teachers. Victoria Ann Chacon was a Sunday school teacher (and middle school, but really the funniest part is from the Sunday school element) decided that everyone should see her breasts. Who am I to argue? Breasts should always be shown, far and wide.

A former Sunday school and middle school teacher has been arrested on charges of distributing harmful material to a minor after she sent topless pictures of herself to a 14-year-old boy whom she met at church.

Victoria Ann Chacon, 27, sent the boy topless photos on a cell phone she gave him. She also wrote him notes professing her love. The child’s parents called police in March after they found the letters. Months later, the topless photos were found on the cell phone.

Chacon was arrested Tuesday. She resigned from her teaching job at Somerset Junior High School in Texas in March.

Even more awesomely, it’s gone beyond nipples on cell phones, to actual kissing:

“Chacon professes her love for the teen, about how passionate he is, and about how she feels when she and the teen kiss each other,” said an affidavit that reported the incident.

How many 14-year-old guys out there wouldn’t love to have had this kind of teacher? At least, I hope she’s hot. I haven’t seen any pictures. But she’s a 27-year-old who likes sending out topless photos, with no regard to how whether they’ll get leaked and how widely they’ll get distributed around the Internet for any horny 14-year-old to download. That’s innately hot to begin with, right? Rock on, Victoria.

My Spidey senses are tingling? Do you want to know why? No? Why not?

I think that Vanessa Minnillo might have some kind of amateur sex tape leaked out onto the Internet for anyone to download. Or at least to look for. Why else would she show up on the Technorati top searched list, home to very little besides horny Asians looking for women that we’ve never heard of in the States who’ve either had leaked videos or pictures involving some nice nudity?

I guess if I was some horny American tween I might have heard of her, since it looks like Vanessa used to host something on MTV:

Vanessa Joy Minnillo (born November 9, 1980) is an American television personality. A former Miss Teen USA, she is mostly known for hosting Total Request Live on MTV from 2003–2007 as well her past reporting as a New York-based correspondent for Entertainment Tonight.

And she’s done Maxim and had lots of bikini pictures and stuff like that around. But Technorati? That’s usually a strong indicator of nudity, usually unintentionally leaked (and isn’t that the best kind?)

I’m sure you people out there will let me know if there’s anything to it or not. Go to it!

Looks like there’s an actress out there named Vanessa Hudgens that nobody’s ever heard of, but now that naked pictures of her are out on the Internet, everyone has suddenly heard of her since she’s showing up on most-searched-for lists.

Here’s a brief tabloid article from a place that hadn’t heard of her either, but says she’s a beauty and has enough quotes from Vanessa to confirm that the pictures are real:

VANESSA Hudgens. No, we neither.

But now that a picture of a naked Vanessa Hudgens has emerged on the internet, the Star has heard of her.

She is a “beauty”. She is aged “19”. She features in “High School Musical”.

And even though a picture of a naked HUDGENS has somehow leaked onto the web, she WILL star in High School Musical 3, and should the job demand it High School Musical 4, 5, 6, 7 and sequel to Annie.

“It was traumatic and I am extremely upset it happened,” says HUDGENS. “I hope all my fans can learn from my mistakes.”

And should any or all of those fans be looking to make the perilous move from teen star to adult celebrity, they know what to do… in the best possible taste…

Not sure if this is the Vivica Fox sex video that’s out or not. If it’s not it, it’s probably not available online yet. But if it is it, then there you have it…

Vivica Fox has denied that there’s a tape floating out there of her sucking some dude’s dick. The video was allegedly taken with a cell phone. SandraRose reported that Atlanta radio dj, Porsche Foxx, said Vivica contacted the police when she learned the tape leaked. Porsche denied she ever said that and also denied she ever said Vivie had a sex tape. The Atlanta police denied they have any claims from Vivie. So everyone’s denying!

A video has been going around that some think may be this infamous oral video. Personally, I can’t fucking tell. The hairline looks wack, but that could be ho. It’s probably some porn trick pretending to be her. It’s Vivica Cocks! Click here to see the video if you care, but it’s a tad NSFW

Dunno, I think most people think it isn’t her. This person thinks maybe it is Vivica:

It looks like her (very tranny) but without a lot of make-up and big hooker earrings, so I don’t know. Someone said that the angle looked suspect; if she was drunk enough or on something, she wouldn’t have cared at that moment that someone was taping her.

Some people think it’s not Vivica and then they turn around and think that it is. I don’t know.

But screw it, I’m definitely not watching that thing. Look, she’s like 45 years old, not at all hot, and who gives a crap in the first place? People keep trying to find a copy of her tape, so I keep posting, but I’d rather watch Andy Rooney on 60 Minutes yammering about plastic bags than watch a Vivica Fox sex tape.

This morning I wrote about the Vivica Fox sex tape, and said

How long before the search engines are deluged by people trying to download the Vivica Fox sex tape? Any minute now, I’m guessing…

And I totally got it right. The number two blog search on Technorati right now? Vivica Fox. I’d like to claim my title as best sex video prognosticator in the history of the Internet, please. You can deliver it to me at this web site.

And people are writing about the video already also, although I’m not sure if they’ve managed to find a copy and have watched it already or not.

As you can see, Vivica Fox’s boyfriend used a camera to make a videotape of her “servicing” him while she was heavily intoxicated. She can’t be blamed for starring in a sex tape, when she was too effed up to know she was being filmed in the first place. Sandra Rose said Vivica has gotten a hold of the sex tape and she’s forwarded it to the Atlanta police department. The man who allegedly recorded Vivica made the recordings with his cell phone camera! The police are currently involved.

Although apparently Vivica has pissed off the Atlanta police in the past (who knew, I had never even heard of her before this):

In 2007 Vivica Fox was arrested for DUI, then she called one of the cops a racist, now she’s gone to the cops about a tape of her servicing a guy orally (giving head).

I guess they have to help her even though she acted drunk and crazy?

Wow, 2008 is really on track to be the Year of the Sex Tape Scandals, isn’t it? It only took a few hours for the Chua Soi Lek DVD to become big news (at least, if you’re in Malaysia) and now we’re already on to leaked sex video number two, this time starring Vivica Fox.

If you’re like me and have no idea who Vivica Fox is, she played Vernita Green in Kill Bill Vol. 1, and was Will Smith’s girlfriend in Independence Day, but aside from that hasn’t been in anything else that I’ve ever seen.

And now that she’s 43 years old, she decided it was time to join the semi-celebrity sex video thing.

Vivica Fox was filmed in a sex tape. She was drunk when she was giving a man oral sex. He recorded the action on his cell phone. The man was a local resident of Atlanta but his name was not released. He emailed and spammed the tape to his friends. Someone then emailed it back to Vivica.

Vivica sent the sex tape to her friend who worked in the Atlanta Police Department. The gossips are waiting to get their hands on the sex tape or its link.

How long before the search engines are deluged by people trying to download the Vivica Fox sex tape? Any minute now, I’m guessing…

Ok, apparently the leaked Chua Soi Lek sex DVD is a pretty strange thing to watch. If you’ve already downloaded and watched the video, please leave comments below adding in some details, since I’m not exactly sure what’s going on here.

First, the girl takes out a laptop, puts it on the right side of the bed, and does something with it. Chua Soi Lek looks at the laptop, and then they start screwing. Chua looks at the laptop a few times while they’re having sex, and both he and the girl reach out and do something on the laptop’s keyboard a few times while they’re doing it.

When they’re done, the girl turns off the laptop.

So, anyone know what’s going on here? Were they recording it themselves on the laptop? I thought the news was that it was a hidden camera thing set up to incriminate Chua Soi Lek and cause him all sorts of Malaysian problems?

It’s all too much. I’m going to go to bed now.

You have got to be frigging kidding me.

So, I wake up and it’s 2008. I decide to see what’s happening on Technorati’s top searches.

Nothing too surprising, Malaysians are still trying to download politician Chua Soi Lek’s leaked sex DVD. Some Arabic writing that I assume is somebody trying to explode Americans again. Something about weight loss, I guess for the new year. Laure Manaudou is still up there, no matter how freaky she looks.

And then a surprise. “Tammy NYP”. Back from the dead to haunt the Technorati top searches once again.

Holy crap. You have to be kidding me. What’s going on, Singapore, can’t you find anyone better to stalk than poor little Tammy and her old news sex video? Get a life.

Or maybe it’s something that will never die. Thousands of years from now, people descended from modern-day Singapore will look back at their history and culture, and NYP Tammy will be at the top of the heap. Her grainy, low resolution 3gp video will be worshiped like the cultural touchstone that it truly is.

Freaky.

Happy new year, and welcome to the Chua Soi Lek sex DVD download funfest.

Who wants to see Chua Soi Lek naked? Not me. He looks old and Malaysian.

Who wants to see his leaked hidden camera video where he has sex with some random woman? I have no idea, is she hot?

Other web sites tease you with Youtube links to Chua Soi Lek videos:

Or we could throw the New Year’s resolution out the window and post it below. Or not. So do not miss the scandalous video and shocking photos below, especially the one where he is doing a group thing with chocolates.

But those videos have no nudity or sex. Come on people, they’re on Youtube, what kind of hardcore action do you expect??

We know the DVD is going around in Malaysia, so I’m sure it’s up on the Internet somewhere:

The sex DVD had been circulating in Muar, Tangkak and Batu Pahat over the past few days and stories about the sex romp had been posted on several internet sites.

The existence of the DVD was first reported in the Chinese dailies on Sunday while a Bahasa Malaysia daily reported about it Monday.

Apparently he has said that he will not resign over the issue and instead will let the Prime Minister decide! What a lousy way to go. Once you’ve been caught with your pants down and on DVD at that, it is incumbent upon you to make a quick exit at the very earliest, like right now. By passing the buck to Pak Lah he is merely prolonging the issue and unnecessarily bringing the PM into the picture.

But I can’t say I’m too worked up about wanting to see it. Who cares? Just because he’s a politician? Unattractive politicians (especially male ones) don’t make for interesting sex scandal tapes. Just get some nice wholesome porn and forget all your searching.

Ok, enough with the Laure Manaudou searching already. You horny guys who are into disturbingly muscular French swimmers have had Laure up in the Technorati top 10 searches for weeks (years… decades… millennia) now. Give it up.

I know you’re all trying to find the video of Laura. I say only the pictures are available. I looked around for you, and can’t find the video anywhere. Really, she’s not that hot anyway. Go get some regular webcam footage or something and be happy with that. I think you’re just wasting your time looking for the Laure Manaudou sex tape, and should just be happy with the pictures. Or be happy with some other girl’s video.

I’d help you out, but I’m not hot, and I’m not a girl, and there is no video of me available to download on the Internet, as far as I know. I hope not, at least. Yikes. How scary would that be?